haiz. upset day again. really dun feel well today. today suddenly heart pain. really is intense pain. hais. i think i having heart problem. haiz. recently my chest hurt alots. hais. maybe dying soon bah. hahas.. today got lantern festival celebration. i helped to cut the mooncakes,pack it and put it in the fridge. lols. i didn eat any. except a small small de coffee mooncake shared by 3 peeps. hahas. so. i didn get to go the hall for the graduation ceremony. but i did go there for the last 30 minutes or so lar. hahas. i thought today should be happy day de. but i wasn really happy lar. becos. people still continue saying me and kahjing or me and aslam. oh please. say as if i very flirt liddat, like soo many guys. hahas. the two guys will forever be my friend de. the most my kor. UNDERSTAND? i dun mind you say me and cedric. although i dun like it too. but at least is the fact that i like him lar. i admit it!! OKAY? haiz. talk soo much they all will still continue saying it de lar. even IF they would like me. i wun be with them too lar. i like them as a FRIEND only. haiz. becos. there is only one guy in my heart. hais.. oyarh. today felt upset there other reasons. firstly, i wanna say SORRY TO ELEENA. [ hope she see this.] because today my mouth very big lar. hahas. SORRY!! i promise i wouldn say you & him unless you say abt me & cedric. hahas. ZHEN DE DUI BU QI! sorry sorry sorry. lols. next reason. today i felt kinda unsecure. very unsecure. losing hope by a little and a little each days. getting more difficult to pass the day, i seems to lost confidences. i dunno why. is being with really that important to me? i used to be a girl who thinks i won't cry for a guy, won't need a guy. why this guy make me feel soo different. cry for him ; need him. i really dunno what happening to me. he seems soo bo chup. and me. acting bo chup too. but do he know, how am i feeling. i guess he wouldn care. MAYBE I DON'T EVEN WORTH A CENT TO HIM!! can someone tell me what to do? perhap is too late to let go... perhap...


10:24 PM