arghh.. sch sch sch.. i hate going to sch.. lols. alway soo slpy in sch. lols.. i think i one whole week de recess same as him. hahas. is it gd news or bad news. i now dunno how to see him lar. lols. i got a weird feeling whenever i wanna see him. lols. today math lesson at math homerm. his class at science homerm. hahas. beside each other.. hahas.. last few day i never blog cos. i lazy lar. none thing very funny happen to me. or rather. i felt it quite irritating. C's classmate harvey arh.. i go anywhere walk pass harvey hor. sure harvey will say. C's gf C's gf. .hahas. soo irriating lor. lucky he today never say.. wahahahas.


1:35 PM

hahas. evan bully me.. made me cry. lols.. hahas.. i made my choice le. after evan make me think who i really like. and make me cry.when i am listening to yong qi this song. make me cry double. lols. my 2nd time when i cry when online.lols.i think i wun be giving up C le barh. becos. going to 1 yr le.. hard to give up, really hard. and i know J got someone he really like le. ta shuo guo ta hen ai ta. me to him? we will be jus friends barh. and i thought for awhile.. maybe i dun really is like J barh. i jus dun want him to be upset. becos. he is my friend what. if my friend feel upset. i will feel upset too de. =) . as for C lehs. i think i will continue waiting barh.. haiz. ai yi ge ren, zhen de hen xin ku.. i think i wun be running away frm him aradi. i must face reality. even i hate reality. haiz.....


10:42 PM

haiz. i am in real confusion.. why i liddat de!! i dun like myself. i dun like this way de me. this is not me!! NOT ME!! argh!!haiz. i am really moodless today. really.. after recess really moodless. arghh. before recess arhh. got art. yarh. i change grp le lar. lols. but still with my table de pple. lols. change tcher to mrs sim class, aiya. she soo funny lar. she take the drawing hor. say take the best one. lols. like take all liddat. lols. soo funny. lols.. by as well ask us to pass up. lols.. yarh. lols. during recess lehs. i saw C ... the feeling is different le.. really. i tend to be more brave in front of him. maybe just acting barh. hahas. before holidays, i am alway like acting happy in front of him, now.. i think he hasn seen me smile before barh. i dun want to act happy in front of him anymore. i want him to see the real me.now is like healing period barh. this time is i run away frm him. although. i really hope to see him. i will miss him. ai yi ge ren. yi ding yao you yong qi barh. haiz.. 8 more days to a yr of waiting le. how long he gonna make me wait? i dun want to wait le. i am soo miserable le.. i dunno how many nights i have been cry. i never cried soo much for any guy before. nort even for my dad.. haiz.. even i write all here.. oso no use.. he wun know how i am feeling de... i hoped that he will know. i want him to know. but i jus carn say... cos. i dun believe in myself anymore. he made me give up hope.. hais.. let dun talk abt him. then after recess lehs.i am really angry with myself. during geo lesson. i am really angry. i oso dunno why. either is i am angry with J for not talking to me one whole day. or felt stupid. felt that i am really stupid. for running away frm reality. haiz... why i like that? i really duno what i am feeling le.. am i really making use of J to fgt C? or. i really like J le? i am super confuse!! why am i feeling this way? ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


7:16 PM

today. 1st day of term 3. soo tired. i carn get to slp ytd. i slept at 3 am.and woke up at 6 am. arghh. SOOOOO TIRED!! lols. nvm. then go to sch lar. okay lar. acyually. the spot check. argh. that mr tan picked on me again. arghh. say my spec. argh.. my spec also not fancyful de.arghh.. he think i soo rich lar. he wanna pay for me if i make new spec?? lols. i dun mind. lols. then. go mr tan rm. but ms noraini take us.then talk abt class outing. lols.. then say 8/8 go seoul garden. hahas. liang hao only know how to eat. lols. then end of the yr go chalet!! lols. but we want over night de. then ms noraini help us ask mr chua. lols.. soo nice. lols..then is physic. lols.they talk abt the physic test paper. yar. then recess. eat with eazy they all. hahas. and of cos. i saw him. but kinda stupid of me. i pretended that i didn see him. lols. in fact. i really wanna see him. but i dunno what happening to me lar. once i previously blog that there is another guy, J. J arh. he seem like he dun care abt me le. hahas. talk to him. he dun want to reply. only talk to him in english lesson. we two arh.. only talk when the others in around. talk to him one on one oso very hard. even talk one on one. is i start first.and we two end up. paiseh. lols.. soo stupid lar. but maybe this guy J cannot take the place of C. lols. maybe i am just making use of him to fgt C. lols.. why i like that. aiyo.today i sense C oso different le.. the feeling oso different le. i know i still like him lar. becos. all the times. i am still thinking of him.. soo stress abt him. hahas.. 9 more day to a yr. lols. i dunno why i am waiting also. i jus want to keep waiting. lols.. hahas.. wahh piang.. lols.. my mum just call home. them my both leg numb then. my foot like twisted liddat. soo pain. wanna cry. lols.. PAIN!!!! LOLS!! ke lian de me. lols.. lucky nth serious. lols..


3:37 PM

LALALALAS~ soo happy. at night only. lols.. after the superband result show only. haahs. soo happy.. before that lehs. I SUPER ANGRY!! argh. nvm lar.before angry is sian. lols. cos. go out with sheena n desmond n sheena korkor, daniel n ah neh[ i didn meant to write his nickname. but i dunno his name. soo sorry. lols. ] okay. then really SUPER SUPER SIAN LAR. you see. starting at least daniel got "ah neh" accompany. then sheena with desmond. me soo lonely. aiyo. like being light bulb liddat.. then after "ah neh" go. still very sian lar. lols.. but this time two person sian le. lols. me and daniel lols.. i learn my lesson le. NEVER GO OUT WITH COUPLES! LOLS! i bought a bag too. sheena oso. 69.90. soo ex. pocket one hole. wanna cry. lol. going to bring that to sch. but i dun really wan the red one lar. but since sheena buy the black one. then i take red lor. nvm de lar. lols. hahas.. i darn tired de lar.. lols. i think i go to slp le. tata~


1:13 AM

haiz.. lols. i am left alone at home AGAIN!! argh. lols.. my mum n sis went to malaysia. i didn want to go. lols. i wanna play com. lols.. but i hope they buy something for me lor. lols.. maybe something to eat? lols. sure will buy they to eat come back de lar. lols my sis is a pig. lols. sure will go there eat this eat that de. lols. hahas.. now i am living my life by eating cup noodles. they will be back tml. hahas. but i will be out with sheena. lols. ytd my sis n mum went to my aunty hse stayed overnight. becos. they are leaving s'pore very early in the morning. so. the hse only left me n my bro. i dunno why i carn slp ytd. turning n tossing. lols. so i felt very eerie. cos. my bed is double decker bed marh. then i slp upper deck de. lols. then my sis not around. lol. then the lower deck will be no body slping. lols.. soo scary lor. hahas.. i lie on the bed abt 12.30 liddat. but i think i slept at 3 plus. lols. during this few hr.. aloads of thing came through my mind.. lols. aloads of regrets n mistake i made. i felt stupid. the biggest regrets is i am not willing to face the music during last yr the holiday. some of my friend should not lar. WM stuff. i regreted not going to band. and running away frm reality. i knew it a misunderstand. i hated her soo much becos. she scolded my parent.people can say whatever nasty words at me but not my parent!! she made me think of my dad.. that why i hated her soo much... i hate her until i dun wanna see her. then i started running away frm band. all becos. of her. and locked myself at my auntie hse. that why pple thought i went missing.. then there was once. fakhrin smsed me. that i am given my last chance. the band camp. i really wanna go. i wanna decided to go de.. but god dun wat me to go.. the night before. i got sick. and go to hospital and go on drip. when i go home next morning. i am real sick after the drip. vomiting alots. i carn even eat. i missed the last chance. the very very last chance. i really wanna go back. of cos. i lock myself in my auntie hse again. even my mum is asking me to go back home. i dun want. but i also should be blame lar. if i really wanna go back. i will go back earlier. but i felt that i no longer belong to saxophone le. alway feeling being left out. ever since i go back to saxophone frm horn. i have been feeling that le.. haiz. my life seem different le. w/o them.. heartbroken. haiz.. and one more regret. never study last yr. streaming you know!! hahas. i wanted to go a1 soo much. but i didn work hard. lols. nvm. this yr even i got SOO MUCH TIME FOR MYSELF!! still dun wanna study. haiz. i wanna the sec 1 me back.. soo hardworking. lols.. hahas.. this yr mrs yong come back. still ask me in A1 arhh. lols. i say no. A2. her face totally changed sia. she have high expectation for me lar. hahas.. WHATEVER LAR!! hahas. wah.. today got soo much to blog arh. lols.. actually got more de. lols.


11:40 AM

sian.. soo long never post le.. lols. i nth to to post.. lols.. see my blog kinda cold lately. i blog lor. today morning been woke up by a phone call. my auntie call. say someone's mum die. hais. soo sad lors..holiday soo sian. i everyday slp until 1 to 2pm. lols. soo lazy right.. cos. i dunwan wake up. firstly because. i dunwan to go out. secondly. i wake up early my mum sure call me do this do that de. then i wait until my mum go work then i wake up.. lols. ME everyday face the computer and play. nth to do. still face the computer. what crap i talking,lols. that means. i play com frm afternoon to night lar. lols. i am thinking of changing a new blogskin. lols.. IN MY WAY!!! lols.. oyarh. tml my sis bdae. hahas.. yar.. i think i nth to say le barh. hahas..


1:38 PM

sian. holiday suck. soo long never blog le. cos. i got nth to blog lar. hahas. everyday at home slack. hahas.. pple call me go out. i also dun wan go out de. lols.. 1) waste money. lols.. 2) i lazy to walk. hahas. n one more thing. i alway holiday missing de marh. hard to contact. lols.. this holiday different le lar. hahas. cos. i at home barh. then can find me online. during WEEKDAYS! lols. weekend my bro turn to use com. yar. lols.last time de holiday cannot find me becos. i go my auntie hse hide. =.= . i dun like pple to disturb in during holiday lar. HOLIDAY is to SLACK! lols. not go OUT! lols. i rather at home slp. lols. unless got special reason or special pple to ask me go out lar. hahas. i found out one thing. lols. i became a movie freak lately. lols. horror movie freak. lols. i am now waiting for the omen and slient hill. and scary movie 4. yar. lols.but scary movie 4 like not scary de nehs. lol. i gonna watch the omen first. hahas.. but no one acc me. haiz. soo scary going alone you know. lols. whatever. hahas.. lately watching bleach. lols. soo nice. hahas. then the funny thing is. i watch until i dream of myself being a soul reaper. lols. hahas.. siao. the dream very funny. is abt i wanan be soul reaper then. i must pass a few test. lols. then one test is abt swimming in a very dirty n deep river.[ no such thing in bleach lar ] hahas. then i dun really know to swim. lols. then i scare i will sink. lol. then the group must be 4 guys 1 girl. while waiting for the 4 guys to come. something happen. a hollow[ bleach de monster lai de.] appeared.and catch the girl of the previous grp. lols. then the damn shuai de instructor go help the grp. lols. [ funny part they are all anime i think i am the only human. lols. ] lols. soo stupid dream right. then i woke up n go slp again. lols. then i at human world le. lols. then i can fly de lor. lols. soo nice. lols. soo funny lar my dream watch too much bleach liao. hahas..


2:00 PM