i am extremely fed up of this life le. where people always think a different way from me. i know i shouldn be soo selfish lar. different way doesn't mean having a totally same mindset i have or act the same as me. i know i got nth good to be same as lar.i meant. why carn pple give a thought for me. why must they force me to act the same way as them. i dun understand. all i wanna be is be myself. with my attitude. that me. i dun like people to ask me to change .i hope people can accept everything abt me. like how i could accept other peeps. i dunno lar. kinda upset lar today. sheena told me that the girl dun wanna me to go out with her. i think is because of that time de thing. hmm. i aradi dun mind her backstab me le lor. because whatever she say is not true. i carn stop her. is her mouth not mine. i dun wanna hate her. i hope we still can remain as friend.but she still treating that way. hmm.. why? does god create us to hate each other? i dun wan. i dun wanna hate anyone. really.. i am trying very hard to accept the facts of life. people may have hurtful comments abt you but you still cannot stop them. even you fight back or backstab her back. it still wun stop. instead, more problem will come. what if. she backstab me. then i backstab her. then she backstab me again. then go on and on. when is this backstabbing de stuff gonna end. until you leave sch? until your life end. then you were at the end of your lifes. then you regret. why carn i keep this friend? in fact. i dun hate anyone. hating sumone seem a childish thing to do.. even you hate that person what are you gonna do. kill the person? bully the person? at the end. the one get hurt is still you. i dunno lar. i just carn make myself hate anyone. i dun wanna hate. god create me to love. not hate.hais. i still dun understand life. hmm.. today, sch celebrate national day. is way too boring. nth much to talk abt lar. i saw ephraim kor. felt different. really very different. we are drifting apart. TOO apart le. i kinda miss those times we hang out together. hahas. he became very shuai now. really very shuai. but i still prefer my nerdy ephraim kor.=) , he leaving bowen this yr le. kinda sad. no is very sad. this year soo many people leaving le. ephraim ; junjie ; aslam ; eazy and others 4t1 de people. hmm.. although i didn know 4t1 very long lar. but sure i will miss aslam ; may ; junjie and eazy. junjie alway very nice to me de lar. my fav kor kor. okay? although he alway bully me lar. hit my head with his books. lols. but still very good to me. =D. aslam lehs. my rumour husband. lols. sure miss him lar. during band days. he is my body guard okay. accompany go home because he stayed near my hse. then alway help me take my intrument when we go home together. he is nice lar. but i have no sparkle with him okay. he will alway be my kor kor de. understand? may lehs. i alway very scare for her lar. but she alway treat me very well. she is like my jie jie liddat. =D eazy. the funny guy. wahahas. he alway brighten my day lar. like to disturb him alway. =D. hais. o yarh. i almost fgt another guy. oso leaving bowen this yr. hanxiang. i dun really know him lar. but he is really a nice guy. sure will miss him.. that time go out. he is soo quiet. until he is nowhere to be found. lols. cos. everyone is busy suaning me and cedric. wahahas. today de post like no cedric right? hmm. because. i abit fed up le. i like him, but i know he wun like me de. i was like HOW?HOW?HOW? as usual. i go for evan for HELP!! lols. he say i should continue waiting, cos, he wasn ready yet. yeah~ i hope so. i really hope. aradi 1 yr 1 mth and 3 days. lol. so is 399 days. one more day to 400 days. hahas.. i know i am very silly lar. but no matter what. i will be waiting de. until the day i really feel he is not the one. now, i am losing hope. i felt soo weak. really weak. i dun wanna think abt it le.. but my heart. i couldn take back le. hais.. CEDRIC NG!! CAN YOU JUST TELL ME WHAT CAN I DO? i dun wanna give up just liddat. because. i carn even i try. i am sad.very sad...


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