haiz. i am in real confusion.. why i liddat de!! i dun like myself. i dun like this way de me. this is not me!! NOT ME!! argh!!haiz. i am really moodless today. really.. after recess really moodless. arghh. before recess arhh. got art. yarh. i change grp le lar. lols. but still with my table de pple. lols. change tcher to mrs sim class, aiya. she soo funny lar. she take the drawing hor. say take the best one. lols. like take all liddat. lols. soo funny. lols.. by as well ask us to pass up. lols.. yarh. lols. during recess lehs. i saw C ... the feeling is different le.. really. i tend to be more brave in front of him. maybe just acting barh. hahas. before holidays, i am alway like acting happy in front of him, now.. i think he hasn seen me smile before barh. i dun want to act happy in front of him anymore. i want him to see the real me.now is like healing period barh. this time is i run away frm him. although. i really hope to see him. i will miss him. ai yi ge ren. yi ding yao you yong qi barh. haiz.. 8 more days to a yr of waiting le. how long he gonna make me wait? i dun want to wait le. i am soo miserable le.. i dunno how many nights i have been cry. i never cried soo much for any guy before. nort even for my dad.. haiz.. even i write all here.. oso no use.. he wun know how i am feeling de... i hoped that he will know. i want him to know. but i jus carn say... cos. i dun believe in myself anymore. he made me give up hope.. hais.. let dun talk abt him. then after recess lehs.i am really angry with myself. during geo lesson. i am really angry. i oso dunno why. either is i am angry with J for not talking to me one whole day. or felt stupid. felt that i am really stupid. for running away frm reality. haiz... why i like that? i really duno what i am feeling le.. am i really making use of J to fgt C? or. i really like J le? i am super confuse!! why am i feeling this way? ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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