haiz. upset day again. really dun feel well today. today suddenly heart pain. really is intense pain. hais. i think i having heart problem. haiz. recently my chest hurt alots. hais. maybe dying soon bah. hahas.. today got lantern festival celebration. i helped to cut the mooncakes,pack it and put it in the fridge. lols. i didn eat any. except a small small de coffee mooncake shared by 3 peeps. hahas. so. i didn get to go the hall for the graduation ceremony. but i did go there for the last 30 minutes or so lar. hahas. i thought today should be happy day de. but i wasn really happy lar. becos. people still continue saying me and kahjing or me and aslam. oh please. say as if i very flirt liddat, like soo many guys. hahas. the two guys will forever be my friend de. the most my kor. UNDERSTAND? i dun mind you say me and cedric. although i dun like it too. but at least is the fact that i like him lar. i admit it!! OKAY? haiz. talk soo much they all will still continue saying it de lar. even IF they would like me. i wun be with them too lar. i like them as a FRIEND only. haiz. becos. there is only one guy in my heart. hais.. oyarh. today felt upset there other reasons. firstly, i wanna say SORRY TO ELEENA. [ hope she see this.] because today my mouth very big lar. hahas. SORRY!! i promise i wouldn say you & him unless you say abt me & cedric. hahas. ZHEN DE DUI BU QI! sorry sorry sorry. lols. next reason. today i felt kinda unsecure. very unsecure. losing hope by a little and a little each days. getting more difficult to pass the day, i seems to lost confidences. i dunno why. is being with really that important to me? i used to be a girl who thinks i won't cry for a guy, won't need a guy. why this guy make me feel soo different. cry for him ; need him. i really dunno what happening to me. he seems soo bo chup. and me. acting bo chup too. but do he know, how am i feeling. i guess he wouldn care. MAYBE I DON'T EVEN WORTH A CENT TO HIM!! can someone tell me what to do? perhap is too late to let go... perhap...


10:24 PM

haiz. today felt very weird again. felt like floating liddat. like very light. like going to faint soon de feeling. hais. what happening to me. this few days. really felt very sick felt like fainting. but i seem okay. perhap it's because i didn't get much sleep lately. hais. today teacher kept making me pissed off. first mrs lee. accused me for talking. and i wasn. although i did talk mins before. but i stop le. then liang hao talk to me. i knock head give the lame lame faces, she scold me le. and ask me to sit in front and say i talk to lianghao. KAOS! i knock head only right. then i talk back very loudly." I NEVER TALK AT ALL RIGHT!" then she kept quiet. stupid de. arghh. then mr tang next. okay. i confessed that my class is REALLY REALLY noisy during his class. but the problem. he carn disipline the class. then he just sat there and did nth. and it was like the last 2 lesson we will be having with him. i was like soo prepared to study and pay attention. he never teach. at least he should go scold the guys right. if mr tan can tame us. why he carn? hais. mr tang lesson. i was pissed off by my own classmate too. especially murali. i shouted and shouted to ask him to shut his mouth up. he still carn. i really wanna study lor. then mr tang did a very gd thing. send the noisy one all out. hahas. and at last only left 7 or 8 guys only. hahas. then next tcher who pissed me off is. ms chua. she suppose to take us for oral on mon. then she postpone to wed. then postpone again to thurs. still okay lar. if she is really busy.. but when 2 pm. she is having afternoon lesson. i was like. walao. if she got afternoon lesson say lar. at least she could hav asked us to come at 3 right? i waited since 1.45 or so lehs. then wait for her until 3. lols. but at least she say sorry. so i am alright with her. lols. then oral is freaking difficult lar. lols. conversion i anyhow say de. WAHAHAS! but i did add something real in. the question is : is there someything you would want to tell your friend but you didn. then i go say abt jasper. but i change aload. hehs. but partly is right lar. i wanan say sorry to him. haiz. then after oral. i accompany szuchian to go lantern festival de rehearsal. hmms. almost kena sabo by kokchen. hehes. but it's way fun lar. hahas. cos. someone is there. hehes. and that stupid eugene soo bad. suan me and cedric. then i suan back him. hehes. sorry ah. eleena. hahas. was a quite happy day during the evening. hahas. UNTIL XUAN WEI COME! he is soo retarded lar. kept anyhow say me and kahjing. hahas. i dun like him lar. NEVER. lols. cos. in my heart. there is aradi someone le. kahjing carn replace him. hahas. AND I DUN LIKE UNWANTED RUMOURS! kahjing and me the most can be korkor and meimei de relationship. lols. soo dun anyhow say. haiz.


9:15 PM

sian.. soo many days never blogg le. hahas.. weekends very busy. hmms. today i very boring soo think alot today. suddenly i think, in future what would i be? because. i would need to choose whether i should go jc or poly. if poly what course should i choose. fan arhh. let me tell you what would i wish to be. LOLS! i have some route le lar. 1st, teacher. PRIMARY school tcher. LOLS! honestly, i love kids alots. especially kids at 7 or 8. lols. this is when they alway ask why. hahas. although it will be very irritating but it CUTE lor. and that age would be very CUTE bah. cos. if teach kindergarden, will be very ma fan bah. cause. i dun like to take care of them. but, one thing would be blocking this path. i too stupid. hahas.. i dun think i could even get into JC. hahas. if i really want to choose this path. i really got to buck up alots. cos. i dun hav a cca to help me. hais. but i dun think i can do it bah. my studies like soo suck liddat. hais. then 2nd will be fashion designer. hahas.. ehs. i like to draw clothes lar. that the reason. hahas. but my sense of creativity FAIL!! lols. next will be.. media industry de bah. lols. then i got to take mass comm le. LOLS! mass comm this course i think i already have thought abt it abt 2 yr le bah. lols. soo i got 3 choice. LOLS! go jc for teacher. go ngee ann poly to mass comm or temasek poly to fasion designer. LOLS! maybe i thought abt it too early. but perhap not. today i ask my friends they seem to have their aim aradi. the exact dreams they wanted. when i ask lianshun. he say accountant. then i ask how many % you wish to be accountant. lols. he say 50%. then i ask again. where the another 50%. he say another 50% is to sleep at home. duh. then i ask huda. what her dream job. she say doctor then i ask the job that you pursue to be. she say hotel manager. LOLS! soo its tourism industry! LOLS! then ask maria. she say photographer. she seem VERY VERY comfirm abt it! LOLS! i wonder how could them be soo comfirm of what they wanna be. they can see future? lols. haiz. maybe the path is still too far away frm me soo i carn decide bah. hahas. anyway,

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help ahh.. LOLS! support my friend ahh. hehes.


3:14 PM

soo tiring now. just came back from work. now.. stuffing myself with maggi mee. i am damn HUNGRY!! lols. today work. very free. not much people lar. today morning is SOO SOOO SOOO sian de lor. hahas. first lesson math. in the super cold homeroom. hahas. kept feeling aslp lar. hahas. then chem. lols. saw him. then he go le. stupid harvey he said. " ehs. why cedric arh.. kelly here lehs!!" diao de lar. then SS .before ss. as we walk down the staircase. then saw cedric far far away. lols. idiotic huda. she shouted :" CEDRIC, kelly like you." then he kena suan by his friend. hehes.. i am soo paiseh lor. hahahas. i got back the ss test which i say sure fail de. BUT! i pass!! hahas. i got 11/20. but, mr shafee mark the paper like bo chup liddat. hahas. he squeeze the marks out de lar. hahas. but i pass.. hehes. then after sch quickly go home. then sleep... then work.. lols..


11:12 PM

lalalas. hahas. he make me laugh today. hahas. by his humourous action. hahas.. sad sad de thing is. i liddat get to do my oral just before him. because he had afternoon lesson. sad sia. hahas.. soo after my turn for oral. i stand up! his class also just got release. arghh. then again. the kelly and him thing start again.. his friend is shouting kelly kelly.. lols.. lame de lar.. then i go up, i saw cedric trying to push harvey to the rubbish bin. lols. the action is soo ehs.. funny? lols. lame de lar. then i was searching for gladys lar. then when walking at the corridoor. i saw him walking in a SUPER WEIRD way to the class. like dinosaur? lols. IS SOO DAMN CUTE LOR! lols. hahas. then i was like smiling. hahas. then one of his classmate was like saw me smiling for nth liddat. hahas. siao de lar. hahas. then i quickly walk away. hahas.. then i went out with sheena, szuchian and gladys to eat. lols. drank milo peng. lols.. I LOVE IT !! lols. then we were like playing as if we dunno sheena. hahas. soo funny. lols. then after that. sheena and glady went home. then me and szuchian go back sch. because. we dun wanna reach home soo early. lols. soo we go find twins lar. then while going to buy drink. chat with aunty a little. lols. kena shock by him. cos. i turn back. i saw him. lols. then aunty kept calling him shuai ge. lols.. me and szuchian was like laughing all the way. dunno why. lols. then when he go. szuchian soo bad.. lols. she tell aunty that he is my ai ren. lols. then he was like behide only. lols. then aunty replied VERY LOUDLY; " AH! YOU LIKE HIM ARH?" OMG.. i was soo soo soo damn paiseh lor. lols. then he disappear le. hahas.. then after awhile we go home le lar. hahas.. =DD. happy day lar. hahas.


8:30 PM

oh god. i am soo damn nervous for tml chinese oral. not the oral that make me nervous. is the people lor. lols. i same grp with him. =DD. i am happy but felt soo weird lor. hahas. stress behide okay. hahas. lame. soo sad de lor. my whole class only got me in that grp. lols. i am one of the two girl. the other girl i also not close to her de. hahas. =D . nvm. i still got shane , yip yong and wei guang. lols. at least i got someone to talk to. hahas. =D . today didn eat much.. trying to save money. lols. but i used it away again. buying food after sch. but still got save a little lar. hahas. now i am hungry again. hais. growing fatter and fatter, lols. i dun want. >< lols. oyarh, pe is darn fun lor. hahas. but i hurt my finger, now still very very pain. lols. we never lose any match. hahas. but tied with simjun grp lor. yarh, the math.. SUPER DUPER TIRED LAR! lols. almost fallen aslp in class. hahas. then chinese. my grp will be changing a new chinese tcher AGAIN! this time is a male. siann de lor. hahas. i prefer a female one lehs.. lols. then after sch. find meijun. then go to the hall of fame de board. hahas. FINALLY. for once! i got my name there. FINALLY!! lols. for math. lols. got 2nd. lols. i lost to kahjing. kahjing got 100mks lor. hahas. i got 93 only. hahas. its really pure tyco. really is very lucky then got the marks de. lols. cos, i never study until the day of the math test . hehes. but i aiming for art de. lols. hazelina draw veyr nice. kept getting 1st. hahas..then after seeing that. me and meijun go home together lor. hahas.. soo guai didn go out. hehes.


4:27 PM

it have been a couple of days since i blog. for some reasons. hahas. kind of tired of blogging le.. and no mood bah.. recently thought alots.. nth much of happiness to share. most of them is sorrow. hais.. now, i really dunno what to do le. i dun ask him to be with me or anything esle. i don't ask for anything.. sometimes. i wonder what am i asking for? i dunno!! maybe its time to let him go.. should i? since i felt that i really likes him. no other guy seem to get into me le.. although i had take another person to replace him. but the feeling ain the same.. is not the one i want. hais... how i hope.. i could lose my memories. and forget him.. with him... i just carn move on... cos. i am used to his cool-ness and him running away... or rather. it me who make myself dun move on. it because.. i dunno which path to walk... or it is like my leg is too numb to let me move on. people call em insane, mad.. i know.. i call myself that too. i am MAD!! i hate this feeling.. i feeling tight, numb. is this really what i want? i DUNNO!!!! I DUNNO!! I DUNNO!!!!
is he really ain worth for me? i dunno.. what i know is.. my heart won't be change easily. even i try to change.. it will cause me to miserable too. soo difficult! my heart had already died. lately.. i got a little feeling of dun want to see him but still wanna know what he is doing. just like friday. when i wanna go out of sch. i was asking gaja. where is him? what is he doing.. gaja told me he didn go for bb. then as i am walking out of school with my friends. we saw him. why let me see him? the more i see him. the more i felt trap. i really dunno what can i do le.. i am trap and stuck...can he tell me not to love him anymore. if he really dun like me... that will make me feel better.. all i want is his words. nth more. really nothing more...


2:24 PM

lalalas~ today soo happy. hahas. i wanna go change my hair short sia. i think it will turn out nice. hahas.. okay. lets flash back what happen today. in the morning, i thought i will be late. hahas. i am good today okay. i almost late because i as reading the newspaper. hahas. ytd news. didn wanna take the first bus. because, of someone. he[ i shall name him grass. hahas. because his hair look like one.] and me were walking to the bus stop at the same time but frm different direction. not that i dun like him or something. just that, i dun like to be with him or get near to him when there is no other friends around. i felt VERY WEIRD!! lols. but to me, he is past le lar. he knows it. hahas. he know that i am just taking him to replace cedric. [another childish act.] but i just carn do it. hahas. kahjing and i have a secret! it abt "grass". hahas. i guess kahjing betrayed me le lar. but "grass" dun mind i guess. enough abt "grass". soo i wasn late actually then. hahas. lucky me. in school, i was busy studying for my physic. hahas. if not, mr tan will be scolding me again. hahas. saying : " this is below par. " cos. the previous common test. i failed my physic. and it the very first time i failed. normally i did quite well. he know i didn study. hahas. but i still manage to get a 6 in class. tyco sia. hahas. my math and art help me ALOTS! lols. soo i was busy study then didn even notice my surrounding, until huda called me. too engross. lol. then chinese. nothing to do. soo study for physic lar. but lianshun very noisy. hahas. kept disturbing me and limin. so limin and i went up to 4th floor at sat at the brown table to study. hahas. purposely dun wanna walk the corridoor to cedric 's class. hahas. because, i scare mr su ask why we walking around. hahas. and of cos. another reason. hahas. soo finally i study finish th epart on conduction and convection. hahas. left with radiation. hmms. i dun even understand a word frm the radiation notes. very difficult. hees. so i dun care lar. hahas. then english, mrs lee hypnosize us. hahas. soo actually when she snap we are purpose to wake up. hahas. but NONE of us woke up. we just continue slping. hahas. we plan de lar. kahjing's idea. hahas. afterall, we gave in to her lar. hahas.. then recess, then math. we sat at the corridoor for a period. hahas. mrs cheng fgt the time. and we dun wanna go find her. hahas.then is chem, hmms. the class is damn NOISY! arghh. alway in chem lesson. will nosiy de. especially murali and gang. lols. soo i continue study for the radiation part lar. lols. so physic. have test. the test is so-so lar. i think still can pass lar. hahas. after school, me and twins went to the ktv at hougang cc, very long never go le. hahas. so many new songs. HAPPY! actually wanna call liang hao to come. stupid kajing dun wanna give me liang hao number. hahas. so three of us went sing like siao woman. hahas. no lar. but at last kahjing still got give us the number. hahas. but too late le. hahas. then after that go home lor. but went out again to the library with my jie. hahas. borrow the art books. i decided to use colour pencil to do my eoy exam. hahas. then after that went to buy food from pasar malam!! lols. OMG. i think i am eating non stop since holiday end. hahas. sure go fatter de. hahas. =DD


11:37 PM

hais. life is SOOOO unfair kays. why pple just carn time abt others. i felt that all teh spamming in my blog is SOOO SOOO SOOO MEANINGLESS! just a freaking table right? i did all the replies because, i am really pissed off. seem like they think it all our fault. but who is the starter of EVERYTHING! THEM!! the one who put their bag on the table we were using WITHOUT asking. and the one who started spamming my blog. childish people do childish stuff i guess. they seem like they doesn have a name. but i roughly guess is who le. but i have a few more suspect. wahahas. maybe both of us are in fault. because we did throw their bag. but we were pissed that time. who is the one with most fault then? i treated it as last time de thing le. dun even rmb it le. they still wana bring it out. it was like duh! that happen A FEW WEEKS AGO LE!! soo stupid lar. why dun jus forget everything. and continue life PEACEFULLY! their action makes me think how childish they are okay. at least they post their name mah. let me noe who the one who is not happy. know the name can die meh. not that i will go beat her up after knowing who is she. hahas. i set this okay. PPLE DUN FIGHT LE. EVERYONE IN FAULT. HAPPY? that the one and only way to solve this super childish and small problem. and it is about a non- living thing. soo lame lar.


5:09 PM

what a boring day. wahahas.. had social studies test today. SURE FAIL! wahahas. 3 questions. only 3/4 of the page used. mr shafiq is a liar. hahas. tell us to study chapter 5 & 6, the test is on chapter 7. i told him ;"TEACHER,I HATE YOU!!" lols. he told me feeling can be nurture. dots. who want to nurture my feeling for him. wahahas. oyarh. cme period is way fun!! lols. learning others lauguage. wahahas. soo fun pronouncing the words. wahahas. then got one teacher, i guess. came to take picture of our class. before that mr tan warned us. and told us to be NATURAL. but soo many girls were soo shy. hiding behide their bags and friends. soo lame lor. wahahas. hmms. today i didn get to see cedric AT ALL!! did he go to school today? i wonder. hahas. sian sian. after school, went out with twins to study. but i read the first page , too tiring to go on le. soo gave up! wahahas. then went shopping! lols. bought a skirt and shirt. sian.. my pocket got hole le. wahahas. my mum never give me allowance for this week sia. i have to use my own money. hais.. go came back home. my sis just wanna go out to send her junjin off. ARGHH!! she didn want to bring me go!! arghh! now, i am ALL ALONE AT HOME!! sianns. nothing to do.


9:04 PM

hmms. today is the first day oif the the last term of school. this yr pass really quickly, even more quickly than i expected. hais. after this term. it will be year 2007 le. the last year cedric will be in bowen le. hais.. and of cos. my n level coming le lor. hais. hmms. today lesson is so-so lar. surprizingly, i am not sleepy at all in class. hahas. although abit bored during physic lesson. today mr sim gave us the exam paper for art le. siann.. hmms. my topic is the little girl's dream. sweet huh? then i printed soo many picture whicj contains tiara , horses , castle . hahas.. my main piece of work really set liao. wahahas. mr sim said my idea was not bad. wahahas. i still scare it will be a bit of childish-ness in there. then talkto mrs sim, then was late for physic class. got to do group discussion. sian de lor. wahahas. then recess, walk around the canteen stall with yulin. hahas. purposely? NAH! although i know cedric was there. but it was yulin who is walking around and pestering me to go out with her after school. and accompany go for her piano exam.hahas. then english lesson, mrs lee today teach us paper weaving, and show us MAGIC~ soo lame de the way she did it. but impressive. and oyarh. stupid kahjing kept disturbing me. arghh. and hiting my hand with his pen. pain lor. the my hand red red de. wahahas. he is an idiot!! wahahas. then chinese lesson. hmms. not having lesson anyway, i was drawing. hahas.=D then after school when out with sheena ; twins and priya to makan KFC. lols. then go walk walk lor. hahas. then go CD drama and sembawang. AHH!! i saw shinhwa singapore version de state of art album. wahahas. but i dun need to buy it. cos. i go the korean version de liao. wahahahas. then i saw the shinhwa calender and i think is also another shinhwa de album lar. i guess lar. i wanna buy. but soo expensive. 30 plus. wahahas. yar, then jiu go home le lor. reach home , change clothes then the next moment? sleeping liao. wahahas. damn tired! lols. hmms. tml still got social studies test. i haven study yet. going to do so le. hahas. wish me luck. =D


8:44 PM

hais.. a sad piece of news. steve irwin has passed away.. i felt soo upset.. he is the guy who i felt that he is soo brave. hahas.. my child hood hero bah. hais. he was like soo young only. 44 yrs old. HAIS!! sad sad. RIP steve. i will remeber this guy for the rest of my life de.=(


2:05 PM

lalalas~ its a fine morning. and it HOLIDAY!! kinda happy abt it. after all the stress i got from school, i finally got a week of holidays. FREE from studies, FREE from friends and FREE from HIM!! i do miss him lar. but i dun wanna see him.. because, everytime i see him, i will feel weird and upset. dunno why.. so this holiday. is for me to PLAY PLAY PLAY!! wahahas. oyarh. still got to study for SS test, sian. after holiday, i got change my study attitude le lar.. wahahas. must study hard. cos. i am afraid that i can't go to sec 4. hais. cos. my english suck. i would wish to get into the top few in level but cannot de lar. 3A1 is soo competetive. every of their subject sure pass de. hais.. what does their head contains. hahas. i think they rally work hard bah. you see last yr my class de boys like weiguang. he is lucky lucky , when EOY streaming. he got into top 8 in class. before EOY he used to lose to me. soo sad.. now. he in A1 . work soo hard.. althogh the latest common test i win him lar. wahahas.. =DD . but i also tyco de. my math and art help me de mah.. wahahas.. hmms. aiya. dun talk abt studies le lar.. sian..


1:06 PM